I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
