physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
