I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
