I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
