how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
