You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
