You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
