Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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