She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
