Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
