This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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