If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
