Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
