got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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