11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
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