I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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