Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
