fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
