If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she peed on how many people?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Randomize
