My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
