Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I am available for nakedness
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
