i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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