i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
