My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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