one might say we're banned from that church
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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