Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
