Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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