so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
