let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
