No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
