all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
