help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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