I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
