I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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