Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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