just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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