Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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