So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
