My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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