does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
