Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
