i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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