Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
