fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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