I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
