That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
