It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
