I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Are we still banned from the library?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize