Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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