only you would photoshop your dick
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
did i walk over a car last night?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
